Never Saw This One Coming!
This summer has definitely been one of the most different ones I've experienced in a LONG time. You see, I had many events planned (as I had in past years). There were a couple of weddings to attend, I was going to play with the orchestra at Camp Meeting, take a course for work, program for Vacation Bible School at church, teach summer school and visit Calgary again.
However, sometimes our plans don't turn out the way we hoped.
In fact, I didn't even get to finish teaching my second group of Grade 2s in the month of June!
One morning in June, I decided to play a "game" with my eyes. I opened one eye at a time, focused on my hand, and checked out my peripheral vision. When it was time to do this with my right eye, I realized that something was wrong...there seemed to be a "black curtain" covering the top half of my hand! Pretty soon, as I focused the right eye on objects around my room, I learned that I could only see through the bottom-half of that eye!
I was worried. I don't normally like to worry my parents if I don't feel well, but I chose to tell them right away. I mean, I was worrying myself.
A few days later, I took a day off of work. I explained to my students that I had to visit my eye doctor the next day. I even explained the situation in simple terms to them. Children are naturally empathetic. One little guy said, "Maybe you need new glasses. Glasses will always help you see better." I informed the kids that I'd let them know how things went on Thursday when I returned.
Little did I know that I would not see my students again for another THREE WEEKS!
My optometrist thoroughly checked my eyes in order to assess the situation. After a few eerily silent moments during his testing, I heard him breathe in deeply and sigh. "I'll be back..." he said, as he disappeared through the doors. What in the world is this about, I thought. Perhaps it was even worse than I imagined.
He said he believed that I had a "retinal detachment" in the right eye, which was preventing my eye from seeing all that I was normally able to see. He took pictures of my eye with a special camera and showed me that there was a "tear" on the retina. I was amazed at the technology.
I was sent to the emergency ward at St. Michael's Hospital downtown. I've been driving for years, but never wanted to drive alone on the Don Valley Parkway. Highway driving is fine for me, but the DVP simply seemed like crazier driving. With the timeframe given, I had no other choice but to travel on the DVP in order to get to the hospital. No one would imagine how much I prayed just to drive on it! Prayers are answered, though. At 3pm (which is pretty much the start of rush hour), the DVP was almost entirely clear!
I waited a total of 6 hours at the emergency. They didn't really see anything wrong, in the end, but still booked me to see a retinal specialist in the Opthamology Department the next day. I drove back home at 11pm just wondering what the next day would bring.
Thursday, June 9, 2005. Another day of waiting at the opthamology department. There were tonnes of eye tests. Tonnes of drops put into my eye. After many hours of tests and waiting, the doctor said that it truly was a "detached retina" and that I had to have surgery. I was fine with his response, for I had prayed for strength and faith the days before if surgery would be the result.
"Ok, so the surgery could be booked in about four weeks because that's when I'll finish school..."
"No, it has to be done soon...As in tomorrow. We can't wait..." was the response.
"Why so soon?" was my naive question. "What will happen if we were to wait?"
"Well, you'd probably go completely blind in the right eye."
SILENCE. SHOCK. HUH? How did THIS happen? I was just doing normal things at the beginning of the week! I don't understand...
The doctor's words hit me like a slap in the face. When I met my mom in the waiting room, I couldn't help it. I just broke down and cried. The doctor's words simply frightened me. I couldn't believe it. Just couldn't believe it.
Friday, June 10, 2005. Another long day of waiting. This time, it was in my hospital room. The surgery was to take place at 8pm, but they came for me 2 hours earlier. They wheeled me down to the operating room in a wheelchair. If it wasn't for a wise friend who spoke to me the night before my surgery, I would have been shaking all the way down the hall to the operating room (thanks, Nat!) The room was so cold...everything was shiny, metallic. They told me to get up onto the operating table and then they put on the oxygen mask. Pretty soon, the anesthetic was started. As I felt it start to work, I stared at the large lamp above my head and said these words..."It's all in your hands now, Lord..." and fell asleep.
The surgery lasted 2 hours. They did a procedure called, a "Scleral Buckle". Touching the retina would be too dangerous since it's so delicate, and so this procedure was what they deemed best. I stayed the night in the hospital and was discharged the next day after they removed the surgery patch.
June 11th onwards was the hardest part---RESTING. That's all I was supposed to do. People who know me WELL, know that I don't know how to "rest" very well. I'm one who's always on the go, so to be forced to sit still, sleep most of the day etc., was horrifying to me. Perhaps I even cried more over the fact that I had to REST.
I got to visit my students the second-last day before school, but even by that time (3 weeks later), my eye was still shut closed. When it was opened, the vision in the right eye was extremely blurry; almost like I was watching things from under water. At the beginning, I was only able to detect splotches of colour, not shapes. It was very scary. It truly gave me a new appreciation for vision.
June passed. July passed. I slowly saw mprovements.
It's now mid August. Although the eye is not what it used to be, I am more than grateful for what it is! I have a new set of glasses, and they do help me see much better. I could have lost the sight in that eye, and that's something that I will always remember. I believe in everyday miracles. I do believe that God was working one out for me that Sunday morning when I strangely decided to play that little "game" that would enable me to check out my vision.
Life is full of lessons. I believe that everything happens for a reason...there are no coincidences. I've learned many lessons this summer:
I've learned that I've just got to take one day at a time. Enjoy the everyday, simple instances much more than I had in the past.
I've learned how precious SIGHT really is. After coming so close to losing mine, I can honestly say that it's a GIFT from GOD, one that I'm grateful to Him for granting me.
I have most certainly learned that I must view "RESTING" as something important. I was going so strong, that I do believe God allowed this situation to occur in order for me to REST. Perhaps, He saw that I was so stubborn to do so; perhaps He knew that I wouldn't CHOOSE to rest unless I had no other choice. For this, I am thankful. I have never had as much rest in my life as I had this summer!
I've learned that it's not worth my time stressing over silly, little things.
I've learned that it's not the best idea to try and be dependent on self alone. If it weren't for my absolutely AMAZING parents this summer, I would not have gotten through it all! I love you both, so much! You've ALWAYS been there for me and I thank God everyday for you.
With all these lessons, I look forward to starting another year of teaching with a new group of students. I look forward to tossing out stressful situations and just relying on God to see me through.
Thanks for reading (if you've even gotten through to reading this far!) God bless and take care!
Addendum:
People who never knew of this situation always shake their head in wonder.
“Your eyes don’t look any different,” they say.
“You’re right. When you look at my eyes, you don't see anything different. However , what I see now is the biggest change of all…in so many ways.”
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